Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Ugly Duckling Syndrome

So I was (and am) laying in bed, and I was praying as I do every night before sleep, and I found myself praying for something that normally never comes to mind when I talk to God. I found myself telling him that I often feel like the odd man out, when compared to some other people, and I asked him if he could "help me come to terms with that." That last phrase seemed odd after I said it. Why would I word it like that? I suppose it was just how it came out in my mind. But it got me to thinking (which is never a good idea at 2:45 in the morning, might I add.)
I don't think anyone in this world sees themselves clearly. When I think about conversations I've had with close friends and relatives, I can't even count on two hands how many times I have completely disagreed with a statement someone has made about themselves. Whether it's a negative comment about their appearance or perception of themselves, on many occasions I've had to question whether they see/hear/understand themselves the way I do. Now, keeping in mind the whole beauty in the eye of the beholder thing, I do realize that on some of these occasions my opinion of beauty or value might simply differ from theirs, which could be a whole other post entirely! But my point is, if I find myself questioning their perception of themselves, then how can I be sure I shouldn't question my own perception of me? Not to say that I can't see some positive qualities in myself, because I definitely do! I'd like to think of myself as a fairly confident individual and I definitely have aspects of myself that I am proud of. I do however think I am much more capable of seeing, believing, and dwelling on the negative aspects of myself, thinking that those are the qualities in me that people will pay the most attention to. And that simply is not true.
I have decided to call this Ugly Duckling Syndrome, and I think we all have it! Which means... none of us should have it! I think if we could just come to terms with the fact that we see more negative in ourselves than anyone else does, we could eliminate this sickening disease altogether! We need to stop being so hard on ourselves, because no one else is! Everyone is too worried about their own flaws to notice everyone elses'! 

In conclusion, I am exhausted, and therefore my mind has once again run away from me.
Just love yourself. I'm no guru or anything, but I think I'm on to something.
Try to accept yourself for who you are and let go of your perceived flaws, because you are more than that and because you just might be the only one that even sees them.

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