I am having a much, much better day today than yesterday. So thank you to everyone that wished me a better rest of the week and commiserated with me! I truly appreciate it!
With that being said, I do still have some things I'm worrying about and I won't go into details but I just needed to do a bit more venting.
I have this horrible habit of being nervous and anxious about everything. I worry to the point of ridiculousness about simple things that I know will turn out fine in the end, and yet I still worry.
I can almost always find something to worry about, whether it’s something about tomorrow or two weeks from now. I don’t know why it is that I search out about anxiety, but I do and I hate it.
A lot of times I even exchange potential excitement for anxiety. At times when I should be looking forward to something I often just feel anxiety over it. And unfortunately I don’t seem to have the ability to feel both nervousness/anxiety (the two go hand and hand for me) and excitement at the same time. So the nervousness/anxiety always wins. I hate this trait in myself. Why can’t I just relax? Go with the flow? I don’t know, but I don’t seem to be able to and it is so frustrating! I've been like this ever since I can remember, unfortunately knowing it's a problem I have doesn't seem to have helped change anything.
This goes back to my favorite bible quote that I posted with my blog yesterday....
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7)
I just have to repeat this over and over again to myself in the hopes that it will sink in. And I do pray about it nightly, but I feel as though for some reason I'm not allowing myself to relax so that God can take over. That's something I'm trying to work on. Any prayers are welcome! I could probably use some right about now. ;)