I can't make sense of what happened today.
The bombings that took place in Boston are disturbing. In every way. The only break I've taken from school work is to watch the news and I've been in tears more than once. How could I not be? I put myself in the place of these men and women who were running this marathon, or watching it, or volunteering at it... the horrors they had to witness today are unimaginable. Explosions, limbs being ripped from bodies, smoke, pools of blood, tears, chaos... so much chaos.
I can't even fathom being of the mindset of the person/people who did this. How long they must have planned this, how many times they had a chance to change their mind and see the evil behind such an act, and they didn't. They made the decision to kill and harm a lot of people they didn't even know. I don't care if it was one random person or a whole group of terrorists... it doesn't matter right now. All I can focus on is the fact that someone, ANYONE made the decision to do this. It is disgusting and it is horrific and it is evil. It is unimaginable.
I've cried and I've prayed, and I've cried some more. I can't stop thinking about this and about how it so easily could have happened anywhere, potentially to someone I loved or to me. I can't seem to care a whole lot about the projects I have due in school this week when in Boston, school work is the absolute least of anyone's worries tonight. And I'm angry. I'm angry at people tweeting about stupid, mundane things like what they had for dinner, when there are people in Boston hospitals having their feet removed. And when there's a family grieving the loss of an 8 year old boy. And I'm angry that in other countries things like this happen all the time, and over here in our perfect little America, we don't care, because it doesn't affect us. And mostly I'm angry that someone made the conscience decision to murder and maim innocent people.
So I'm praying. A lot. I'm praying for the injured, many of whom will never walk on their own two legs again. And for the families and friends who will never see a loved one again, and for the those who are missing, and those who are searching for the missing, and for the beautiful men and women who ran into the chaos to help. But I am also praying for the sick individuals who caused this chaos and devastation. I am praying for them, because they need help. And because anger towards them will not help anyone, it will only create more anger and more destruction. I am praying for them because if I don't, I will let this anger and this hate fester until it creates a black hole of pessimism and anger in my soul. And I can't let that happen. So I'll pray. And in my prayers to God, I'll pray for everyone I mentioned above, and I'll pray for the safety of those that I love and for peace of mind, even when nothing makes sense.
Sometimes all you can do is pray. And sometimes, that's enough.