I'm sitting in a noisy coffee shop on Austin St. It's the eve of my second year of teaching. I am excited! More excited than anxious, which is not something I've come to expect from myself. Anxiety is my constant companion, so feeling something other than that about a big event coming up is rare. I'm making lists, and editing classroom labels, and making more lists. My head is spinning with how to implement new ideas and new strategies into my classroom. But I also feel the tug to write, to get down every last thought running through my head before I'm back at the grind tomorrow.
I am so excited to see where this year takes me. However, I am also very aware that being two months out, I am seeing last school year with rose colored glasses. It has been two months since I've felt the stress of 20 1st graders yelling my name. Two months since I've had to write up a 5th grade student for hitting another one. Two months (well actually more), since I've stood in the corner of my classroom, out of eyesight by passerby's, trying to get my tears under control before I could face the world outside of it. The walls of my classroom have seen some rough things. And I haven't forgotten all of those things, I'm sure I never will. But I'm also now removed enough from it that I can feel optimistic about what those walls will see this coming year.
Here's what I hope my art room walls see this year.
I hope they see a second year teacher who now knows better than to yell to be heard over the noise. I hope my classroom walls see a smile on my face more often than a grimace or deep wrinkled frown lines in my forehead. I hope my walls hear more laughter from both the students and myself, and a controlled teacher voice instead of a deeply frustrated sigh and crying during my planning period... though I'm sure on occasion there will still be some of that. I hope when the walls see a metal trashcan being thrown that they also see a teacher more prepared to handle the situation with a calm voice. And even though the walls will at times see a teacher who feels like she's losing control, hopefully she now knows how to get it back a little bit quicker. I hope those walls see endless pieces of art being created and hung up and then carried out preciously more often that ripped up and thrown away. I hope the walls of my classroom see a more confident than timid educator who does her absolute best to form relationships with every single child that walks through. One who finds a way to reach even the most distant child. I hope those walls see growth. I hope they see students who are motivated to learn because of a teacher who is motivated to change.
My job is a hard one, but my heart is strong. And my mind is open. This year I will be optimistic. This year I will think more positively and plan for the worst, but pray for the best. Prayer. There will be so much prayer this year! Even more than there was last year... and trust me... there was a lot last year!
This year will not be perfect. This year will not be my best year. But this will be my best year yet.
To the couple people who have already purchased things for my classroom this year, THANK YOU! For anyone who would still like to contribute click HERE. My kids mean the world to me and I wish I could afford to buy them everything they need to be successful in my classroom, but the reality is I just can't. So if you can purchase anything on my list, all almost 600 of my students and myself thank you! You're making a difference.
I am so excited to see where this year takes me. However, I am also very aware that being two months out, I am seeing last school year with rose colored glasses. It has been two months since I've felt the stress of 20 1st graders yelling my name. Two months since I've had to write up a 5th grade student for hitting another one. Two months (well actually more), since I've stood in the corner of my classroom, out of eyesight by passerby's, trying to get my tears under control before I could face the world outside of it. The walls of my classroom have seen some rough things. And I haven't forgotten all of those things, I'm sure I never will. But I'm also now removed enough from it that I can feel optimistic about what those walls will see this coming year.
Here's what I hope my art room walls see this year.
I hope they see a second year teacher who now knows better than to yell to be heard over the noise. I hope my classroom walls see a smile on my face more often than a grimace or deep wrinkled frown lines in my forehead. I hope my walls hear more laughter from both the students and myself, and a controlled teacher voice instead of a deeply frustrated sigh and crying during my planning period... though I'm sure on occasion there will still be some of that. I hope when the walls see a metal trashcan being thrown that they also see a teacher more prepared to handle the situation with a calm voice. And even though the walls will at times see a teacher who feels like she's losing control, hopefully she now knows how to get it back a little bit quicker. I hope those walls see endless pieces of art being created and hung up and then carried out preciously more often that ripped up and thrown away. I hope the walls of my classroom see a more confident than timid educator who does her absolute best to form relationships with every single child that walks through. One who finds a way to reach even the most distant child. I hope those walls see growth. I hope they see students who are motivated to learn because of a teacher who is motivated to change.
My job is a hard one, but my heart is strong. And my mind is open. This year I will be optimistic. This year I will think more positively and plan for the worst, but pray for the best. Prayer. There will be so much prayer this year! Even more than there was last year... and trust me... there was a lot last year!
This year will not be perfect. This year will not be my best year. But this will be my best year yet.
To the couple people who have already purchased things for my classroom this year, THANK YOU! For anyone who would still like to contribute click HERE. My kids mean the world to me and I wish I could afford to buy them everything they need to be successful in my classroom, but the reality is I just can't. So if you can purchase anything on my list, all almost 600 of my students and myself thank you! You're making a difference.
Very proud of you. You will have the best year yet. I'm sure :)
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