I have come to the conclusion that I am incapable of doing anything the "normal" way. As a second grader on the playground being chased by boys/chasing the boys with my friends I remember hearing the word "cooties" and thinking how absolutely ridiculous the idea of cooties were and that there was no way such things existed. In fifth grade when all my friends were outside playing and joining sports teams (which I tried once, never again) I was inside reading books and writing poetry. In high school when friends were going to parties and football games, I was at home writing books and taking pictures. Now in college, while most of my friends are out on the town partying and drinking, I'm in my apartment in sweats and slippers watching movies or reading books.
And yes, "normal" is a relative term, and I'm definitely not alone in feeling abnormal, for lack of a better word, but for a while I think that's exactly how I felt. Why couldn't I just be a stupid kid and act out in public for attention and sneak out of the house while my parents were sleeping? Everyone else was doing it! The problem is, I'm not one of those people that will jump off that infamous bridge that everyone else is jumping off of. I used to blame it on having more maturity that a lot of people my age, which is sometimes true. More often than not though, I just think I plain and simple don't want to do those things. I used to think that made me weird, but the older I get, the more I realize it's not about what everyone else is doing. It's about what I want to be doing. And it's okay to want something different than the majority. Don't get me wrong, I like getting dressed up and going out and having a good time too, I just don't live for those nights. I live for good music, good books, lit candles, paper and pens, simple things.
We all get caught up with "normal." Whether we're trying our hardest to be in that category, trying our hardest not to, or just being ourselves and worrying where that leaves us, we have to stop. Stop worrying. Just do what you love and what makes you happy and the rest will fall into place.
And yes, "normal" is a relative term, and I'm definitely not alone in feeling abnormal, for lack of a better word, but for a while I think that's exactly how I felt. Why couldn't I just be a stupid kid and act out in public for attention and sneak out of the house while my parents were sleeping? Everyone else was doing it! The problem is, I'm not one of those people that will jump off that infamous bridge that everyone else is jumping off of. I used to blame it on having more maturity that a lot of people my age, which is sometimes true. More often than not though, I just think I plain and simple don't want to do those things. I used to think that made me weird, but the older I get, the more I realize it's not about what everyone else is doing. It's about what I want to be doing. And it's okay to want something different than the majority. Don't get me wrong, I like getting dressed up and going out and having a good time too, I just don't live for those nights. I live for good music, good books, lit candles, paper and pens, simple things.
We all get caught up with "normal." Whether we're trying our hardest to be in that category, trying our hardest not to, or just being ourselves and worrying where that leaves us, we have to stop. Stop worrying. Just do what you love and what makes you happy and the rest will fall into place.
YES! I knew you would "get it" sooner than most people! I love you just the way you are! ;D
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks, I love ya back. ;)
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